July 16th!
Hello to anyone who hasn't yet given up on this blog!

After my fun week in Turangi with Marjorie I then had a quiet week staying at a little red hut by the Tukituki River in southern Hawkes Bay. (Thank you dear Helen for your incredible spirit and generosity!) Here I just read and walked and cooked...and ate!...and began writing 'the book'. Helen's encouragement was such a gift at this launching moment. It was a week of winding down and finding ground and I packed away cell phone and watch and timed my days by watching the sun. I did a lot of 'just learning to breathe out again'.

Winter arrived with thick, white, hard frosts. I cooked in the hut but as it had poor heating and no insulation I slept in the campervan (plugged into the power). With 2 hot water bottles and the dog with me, the cocooned sleeping area above the cab actually held its heat and kept us nicely warm, while the main floor area went down to just above zero degrees at night. It was great to experience my first visions of the campervan manifesting in reality. There I was, seated at my little desk looking out the big back window, morning cup of tea, typing the first lines of my book, as the winter sun rose over the trees to a stunning morning. That was May 21st for the record!

Since then the going has been a bit more unsettled but blessed with a wonderful patchwork of places to stay. I thought I would quickly wrap up the last of my paperwork from Wellington and immerse myself in the writing....but it has not been so! First I spent a week doing bookkeeping and seeing clients, at my dear Aunt Judith's place in Hastings (thank you Aga as always...such a haven!) Then Kaye and Alan Keats offered me their sleep-out for several weeks while they were away in Europe. Their property is a gorgeous organic garden close to the sea in Clive (near Hastings). 










My time there however was sadly consumed with accounting and taxes, sorting out all the final loose ends from the last 3 years, and intersected with a week in Wellington to meet with my account manager and attend various other meetings.(Also a golden time with my family for my Dad's 80th birthday.) However the peace and quiet at Clive was fabulous and Magic and I loved our daily walks.

Soon after that my Mum became unwell  (she is recovering now) and I decided to take up a long-standing offer to house-sit in Greytown, (thank you dear Virginia!!) so I could visit my Mum frequently in Masterton. I have no internet access there so I go to my sister's once a week to visit and use her wi-fi. (thank you Chris and Steve...awesome!) Now at last today I can say that everything is caught up. The taxes and accounts are sorted, the emails are cleared and several bits of other work are done....even this blog! Tomorrow I return to the writing in earnest!!


I will be here until the end of August after which I will be heading north to Titirangi and Auckland and other North Island venues to give lectures and counselling in various communities. I expect to get back to the writing in December when the schools get busy with their end-of-year activities.


No clear plans for next year yet though I continue to dialogue with key people on what the future might hold. My total focus right now is the book....and slowing down! :) Let me leave you with another gem from my all-time hero, Leunig:

So...winter greetings to you all in the Southern Hemisphere and summer greetings dear friends in the Northern Hemisphere. Sending you much love and fondest thoughts...Mary.

Greetings from Late Autumn in Hawkes Bay!

Hello dear Friends and Parents!
You have probably given up on this blog by now or else you are getting the idea that it's not yet daily!...or weekly!..Oh dear, I must improve :)
So....Wellington flashed by me in a few days (without a chance to see some clients) as Daffy took up 3 days needing mechanical tweaks and I spent the remaining 2 days with my dear children, siblings and flash visits with a few close friends. I stayed with my sister Jude who introduced me to roller derby (no, spectator!) complete with great live music from Wellington's one and only New Orleans Brass band at half time...seriously! I must say it is quite a strategic and hilarious sport and I did enjoy it.
Then we ( Daffy, Magic and I) hit the road and followed our original route out of Wellington over the Rimutakas...this time with Daffy purring all the way...phew! As I spent a day with my parents and other sister in Masterton Sonia's baby was born in Christchurch: Thea Rose weighing in at 7lb 1oz, a lovely home birth.
On April 20th I drove to Hawkes Bay and began to settle in with my dear aunt in Hastings to prepare for the week at Taruna. Had a fabulous week teaching the teacher trainees all about the understanding and  education of the will in childhood, once again meeting some wonderful students, teachers and parents from around New Zealand and several other countries. It was helpful to give these lectures again a year later and see how the material has developed in a year. Taruna is such a beautiful setting (see the photo on their website)...reminds me of Emerson College.
At the end of the Taruna week I was officially 'free' without any bookings. There were 600 emails waiting to be answered but friend and mentor Marjorie had a bonus week at a timeshare at Turangi (southern end of Lake Taupo) and she invited me to join her for a week of fun and tourism. Needless to say we had a ball! We saw so many wonderful sights and topped it off with a spa each night.

Sun sets on Mt Taranaki (seen from Mt Ruapehu)

The bush track around Lake Rotopounamu

 

Full moon rises over Mt Ngauruhoe

                                                                                                                     

Beautiful bush

The still lake

Marjorie and Mt Ruapehu

Lake Taupo at sunset

Mary points out the 'red zone'

Lake and feather

Mists rising on the Lake

One of the highlights for me was a 6 km morning walk alone around lake Rotopounamu which is a crater lake nestled in the bush on the side of Mount Pihanga. It was absolutely still and quiet with no one else there except the birds for the entire walk and I could witness nature as it would have been to the first people who ever saw it. A very spiritual experience and a perfect start to preparing my mental state for resting and writing.



















So now folks...I have finally answered and cleared the 600 emails and tomorrow I start the real downtime to rest and write. I will be in Hawkes Bay for the next 8 weeks, at a couple of locations. Ahhhh! So farewell for now till new musings arise!
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY all you amazing mothers!!
Love to you all...Mary.

My Time in Christchurch

Hello again everyone! Greetings from Picton!!! (back again to the top of the South Island)



Well my attempts so far at being a regular Blogger are rather dismal...so this will have to be long again!
After working at Waiheke Island and Tauranga and spending 2 nights in Wellington Daffy, Magic and I took the ferry across Cook Strait and drove down to Christchurch. It was a stunning day.

The Kaikouras on a gorgeous drive down

I was very quickly fully immersed in Christchurch and ended up working 15 days in a row (!) with just Easter Sunday off then 2 more days work to finish. In that time I gave 11 lectures or talks and provided counselling to 13 new families.

I stayed with Sonia and Rohan and their children Jamie and Jordi...

Sonia, Rohan, Jordi and Jamia and their dog

Magic invites Jamie to visit in the camper

Daffy at home in Christchurch

with number 3 due any time. Sadly the baby didn't come while I was there as we had hoped but we had some wonderful moments together including celebrating Sonia's 40th birthday! Sonia was my 'right-hand-woman' when I was setting up Plum Garden in Wellington and they moved to Christchurch just before the February quake. Despite being late in her pregnancy Sonia gave me so much love and support, feeding me when I came 'home' late and tired. Rohan transformed himself into a magic campervan Genie mechanic and went over Daffy with a fine tooth-comb, cleaning and tweaking and fixing and replacing this and that so that she just hummed all the way to Picton!! Thank you soooo much you two...and for the short but brilliant times with Jamie and Jordi.

The Earthquakes of course have been central and dominant to all the conversations I have had in Christchurch. (I felt only 2 while there, with a bigger one today just an hour after I left!) Really, it is one thing to see it on our screens, and quite another thing to see it in reality. I was in the position of being invited into peoples homes and lives and saw the effects of the quakes on their houses, work, families and psyches.

When you first walk down the streets you see maybe 2 or 3 houses boarded up, a few chimneys removed, a few garden walls down but the other houses look o.k. I quickly realised the if even 1 garden wall in a street is down or the road is a just a bit bumpy then that means all the houses in the street are damaged. Homes that looked so benign to a first glance had interior walls with latticeworks of ripped and cracked plaster, doors and windows jammed, cracks running along tiling and mouldings looking like fault lines themselves. And these were the less affected areas! Many had to have truckloads of liquefaction removed from their properties and streets. Some patches were just left there.

One of my old friends, Margaret, has deep fissures behind and in front of the tiny sleep-out she is now inhabiting. Her house behind is totally broken, walls and ceilings ripped, outer brick and concrete cladding separated from the house by big gaps. It is uninhabitable. She said in the June earthquake she was in the garden above the house and watched the whole house severely shaken a meter either way.

Outer claddings separated from the houses

This 9 inch wide fissure runs along the front of a house and is so deep they can't find the bottom

       


If you walk around the outskirts of the Red Zone the buildings look like they have been bombed. In many areas, especially Redcliffs and Sumner, driving on the roads is like being on a boat in choppy water. Daffy (the campervan) has rear airbag suspension and rocked along like a plucky tugboat on Wellington harbour in a southerly! Perhaps the most shocking was to be on Sumner beach where you can look out at the dazzling sun on the surf (like a normal day) then turn to the shore and stare at the cliffs above that have fallen leaving houses ripped and dangling off the edge.                                         
There are long roads of double-stacked shipping containers set up to keep falling rocks from the cars.

So many businesses are closed and gone. Everywhere there are buildings fenced off, huge empty spaces where buildings used to be, signs about temporary locations  for libraries, banks, churches, schools and shops) orange road cones and holes in roads. Lyttelton had only about 4 businesses whose buildings were not damaged. People have put potted flowers, sandboxes, cafe tables and stands for free food and library books on these empty lots.                                                                  

I heard so many 'near-miss' stories. Like a mother and children sitting on the couch reading a story and the house falling down around them. So many said 'if I had been in that spot where I was just before...' Many families have had to move to temporary accommodation more than 4-5 times already. One poor solo Mum and her children had moved 11 times! Many children have of course returned to the parent bed and some are still afraid to go outside or to the toilet alone. Yet many other children just took it in their stride. One boy walked home through devastated Sumner and the first thing he said to his distraught Mum was 'I got 40/40 in my French test today!'

Clock stopped in Sumner at the time of the February earthquake

Front wing fallen off

I do a lot of study of the temperaments of children and their parents in my work and I saw clearly the effects of the earthquake on the different temperaments...which was a goldmine for my understanding! But shining through all this devastation is the power of transformation in these people. They are awake! They are really in reality, they look after each other, they have become grateful for simple, basic things and they are infusing each other with resilience, innovation and love. It is a wondrous thing to behold.

Many sandcastles showed complexity and hope of rebuilding  

Sumner beach in all her glory

I would recommend that you watch the film 'When a city falls'.

So alongside this brave new world I have been exploring Christchurch and learning the best ways for me to give talks and counselling when on the road. I can see more clearly now that I need to do a big introductory weekend intensive when I enter a community, one that gives parents and teachers of all age-groups the core elements of the 'Plum' approach. From this foundation I can then give specialist talks on specific age-groups and be able to provide counselling to those who have attended that first weekend.

 What doesn't work is giving those core lectures over and over again to different groups and giving one-off counselling sessions to those who haven't attended any talks and know nothing of this approach. It has been an incredibly positive 6 weeks, with 21 lectures and talks and 26 new families in 3 communities, Waiheke, Tauranga and Christchurch. I have loved it and learned so much. In Wellington I normally start 1 or 2 new families per week and build them up slowly and carefully to the new ideas and changes over 3-6 sessions. It has been very challenging to be seeing 2 new families a day, and having only 1 session to try to turn their family situation around. As you may well imagine I am exhausted!

So that brings me to what is next. I will have 5 days in Wellington but will see only a couple of old clients due to my tiredness, then will be off to Hawkes Bay to teach the teacher trainees at Taruna for a week. After that I have nothing booked at all. My instincts are shouting to me that I must have a big rest, so I am currently trying to find a warm rent-free place in Hawkes Bay to go to ground for the winter, so I can rest, get healthy and begin to write the book. During that time I will decide when to set up visits and lectures to the other communities in New Zealand that want me to come. The rough plan would be to be in the North Island for the rest of the year, then perhaps the South Island again next summer, as Christchurch wants more and I didn't have enough time to get to Dunedin, Southland and Motueka/Nelson.

I must say, despite all these wonderful sights and experiences, I still miss Wellington quite a bit and ponder on how a new Playgroup space could be created.  So tomorrow it's back on the ferry over Cook Strait and back to Wellington. I think I won't give up coffee till after that!!!

Magic at home!

Sailing out of Picton back to Wellington. I sat on the deck in this spot most of the way!

And now let's play...spot the camper! (Kaikoura Coast)

Much love to you all...may your autumn be golden (and your spring delightful...if you are in the Northern hemisphere!)  Wow...nearly 1000 people have visited the Blog already...thank you!

Blenheim!

After 2 very wet and windy days in Wellington catching up with my boys and siblings...not to mention soaking up some great Wellington coffees again!...Daffy, Magic and I crossed Cook Strait this afternoon and are now snug for the night in Blenheim. The crossing was a bit rock 'n roll...but nowhere near as bad as I had anticipated given the previous 2 days of southerly gales. As we sailed into the Marlborough Sounds the low cloud and drizzle made the water and sky meld into veils of silver, and there were dolphins leaping ahead of us and alongside. (left my camera in the camper...along with Magic who had to stay in there by herself...double sad)

When I checked the route to Christchurch with the guy at the Blenheim campground he said 'just point the camper south and drive till you get to an earthquake'...it sounded like he had said that joke every day for a year! Poor Christchurch...but I bet they've got a few good jokes as well.

I'm so looking forward to seeing Sonia again...I will be staying with her at her fabulous new home. She was Plum Garden's first enrollment coordinator and a huge support throughout the setting up of the Parenting Centre. She's about to have her 3rd baby...so a very special time.

I begin my lectures in Christchurch on Saturday with a weekend entitled: 'Building Positive Social Responses in our 7-12 year-olds'. Considering all these dear parents have been through I think discussing these issues with them will be a profound learning experience for me.

Will keep you 'posted'!...Love to all, Mary.

Hello from the Road!

Hello at last from the Plum Parenting Lecture Tour!

How it all began....(this start-up blog will be long, and thereafter the blogs will be short)

Just when I thought I was heading into another wonderful year of operating the Plum Garden Parenting Centre in Brooklyn, Wellington, the new owners of the next-door property announced a large and lengthy renovation that would threaten the quiet we need for at least 2 if not 3 terms of 2012! 

 

After my initial dismay I spotted a silver lining! ...an opportunity to take a year off to write my book, to have a rest, and to tour the country offering this work to other communities. To cut a long story short the Parenting Centre has now been closed with hopes to reopen it next year on a new property that better suits a viable funding structure (i.e. not depending on me working 6 long days per week to pay the rent!)

The Centre has been hugely successful over the past 3 years with 80-100 parents and children coming through the gates per week to attend playgroups, parenting courses and parent counselling sessions. In addition I have been seeing many parents in their homes and doing phone and Skype counselling nationally and internationally. Over 250 families have now received 1-on-1 counselling. I have given lectures in a few locations and several communities throughout New Zealand have been asking for the service to visit their area.

The playgroup furniture, toys and equipment have been put into storage (thank you so much Louise!) and I have moved into a campervan!! (with the family dog ‘Magic’)                                                                       and begun touring the country. It has all happened so fast!

May I take this moment to give huge thanks to all of you who gave selfless hard work to get me through this transition, especially to my brother John who literally carried the move, along with Chris, Jav, Meredith, Murray, Annemiek, Ebony, Eileen, and Joe. Also big thanks to my sister Jude with whom I stayed in the most crazy weeks after I moved out, when my belongings and admin were spread between storage, the car, the camper and her place! 

Very special thanks to Jeroun who created a fantastic office for me in the campervan                                                                      and to Ebony, Tara, Prometheus Finance and a very dedicated group of special supporters (you know who you are!) who all helped to make the acquiring of the campervan possible. And thank you to Kay, my landlady, who has been especially generous and supportive throughout the entire 3 years.

Jane Fergusson has taken over operating a Saturday morning playgroup at the Wellington City Rudolf Steiner Kindergarten in Thorndon for the year....thank you Jane and have a great year!

Last but not least thank you to all the staff (Eileen, Nicki, Jane, Brigid, Enzo and Jane of accounting support) and the parents and children of the Plum playgroups....you are GOLD!...and I miss you all so much already!

So that is the introduction and history of Plum Parenting to date...now let us begin the Tour blog!!

It all began with a spectacular campervan breakdown only an hour after leaving Wellington! Just a clamp on a hose to the radiator but it blew just 2 corners from the top of the Rimutakas just on dusk in one of the worst gales Wellington has ever had, right at the top of the long upward gully funnelling the wind smack into the side of the camper while I waited over an hour for the AA to come. Luckily I had just paid to upgrade my AA membership to AA Motorhome Plus and they popped the camper on the back of a huge flatbed truck and took me to Masterton (where I was to visit family). The delays for repairs however meant that I got to see my son Ben who had just arrived back from Berlin, as I made my 2^nd attempt to leave Wellington! (there have been silver linings all the way)

All fixed then on to the Coromandel to spend 2 days organising the campervan 
and finishing the Wellington admin. Then finally just one precious day off. Had a wonderful meal and catch-up with Anna Gavey and fell in love with Long Bay at sunset. Thank you Rebecca, Graham and Anna for letting me stay at your properties!

Then it was off to Waiheke Island...yes I managed to back the campervan on to the ferry with everyone watching...  There I enjoyed the wonderful hospitality of Vibhusha and Mike (including building me a ramp so the camper could be level, and hooking me all up!) and had a magical and very hard-working 10 days on the island giving lectures to parents and teachers and doing parent counselling in the community. Special thanks to Dawn, who organised it all so beautifully and patiently, and to Luis who made me a ladder and clothing rack for the camper, even though he was already busy and had a cold. My heart is full of the lovely people of Waiheke. And the 2 swims at Palm Beach were heaven!                                                                    Then it was on to Tauranga to do the same thing again, staying this time with Mary and Mike and mostly with Rebecca (thank you so much!) and walking daily (even if short) on Papamoa beach while keeping up an intense schedule of lecturing and counselling.

  The new Whare (hall) and the spirit of this community were wonderful. I was there for 6 days. Thank you Tauranga for your incredible enthusiasm and feedback! 

Now I am back in Masterton with my sister and parents, about to have 48 hours with my boys and siblings in Wellington, then on Wednesday I head across the Strait to Christchurch. Will keep you posted!! 

Apologies to all those who I meant to farewell before leaving Wellington...I just ran out of time and had to drop the ball, sadly.

Much love to you all and have a great year everyone!

 And now let's play 'spot the camper'!...on Waiheke Island. (I'm calling it Daffy as in 'Duck', as it is a DAF. It was once an ambulance in Dunedin, brought over from the U.K. and was made into a camper only 6 years ago...so the interior is still in mint condition. The engine was reconditioned not too long ago.)

Hello Everyone!
My son  has just helped me to update my website and set up this Blog...thank you Joe!
I am now packing out of Plum Garden Parenting Centre and in early February will be hitting the road in a campervan with magic the dog. You can go to my website calendar to follow our journey.First stop Coramandel for a holiday! Then at some point in February I will begin to blog!  See you then!